So, here I am 41 (42 this year) and still thinking of having another baby, am I crazy?
I can't quite work it out, I feel the same inside as I have always felt.
Of course I have learnt things and experienced things and changed my mind about this that or the other but on the whole, I feel the same as I did when I had my first baby almost 20 years ago!
The majority of time, I skip along through my days without realising how old I am... Okay so I don't feel physically feel like a 20 year old and I don't act like a 20 year old either ( I don't think) and ok, I can admit I definitely don't look like a 20 year old... I am simply me and have always been me and so when I am confronted with comments like "you are too old to be having babies" funnily enough, I am initially really suprised.
I remember when I was in my 20's thinking that people in their 40's were SOOOOO old but now I am here in the 40's, well things look a little different!
I would love to give my little 19 month old a sibling around her own age and at times I don't think about any of the negative stuff but then my mind starts throwing things at me like "shouldn't you be concerned about looking like a pregnant grandmother?" or "Aren't you worried about not fitting in when you go to playgroup with your little one?" or "how will you feel if your kids are ashamed of having an OLD mum?"
Just a few years ago when I got pregnant with my youngest daughter I didn't think twice, but now it feels like I am supposed to have all these concerns.
Have I crossed some invisible line and so now fall into the category where being spontaneous, carefree and going with what feels right is not allowed???
There are women all over the world having babies at my age and older.... aren't there???
And, if you are out there mums over 40 let me know!!!