As I sat to meditate last night, an image came into my mind.
It was the image of a perfect little face...
Framed by a mass of brown curls and wearing THAT smile.
It is the same smile that shines in every photo and in every memory I have of you.
You were wearing that very thin, soft pink dress that we both loved and your "horse riding" boots...(remember them?).
This is the image I often get when I think of you...
You were so very happy, confident and so full of love.
I miss that little girl...sometimes I cry so hard when I think of how far away she is from me now.
She is angry now...
Angry at me, angry at life or so it seems.
I wish I could turn back the clock and hold that little girl in her favorite pink dress one more time.
But all I can do is cherish those images and memories I have of you...
And wait....
I will wait for you.
I will wait until you are ready to open up to me again.
I will be here when the anger subsides and you come looking for me...
I will always be here...
I am your mum and thats what mums do.
Tears over here.
ReplyDeleteThat painful life phase...I pray it is only a short time before she becomes your friend. Waiting shows that you are wise to this...and so full of love for your daughter.
This is what frightens me...will my sweet little mama's boy drift away from me some day? Is there any way to prevent it?
ReplyDeleteThe waiting must be so difficult. My heart goes out to you.
Thanks cypress sun and Edenwild, yes, going through this separation from my eldest daughter just makes me want to cling on even tighter my little 17 month old...which of course I can't do!
ReplyDeleteLife is tough for mums... we get to hold their hands for such a short while but at least we can hold their hearts for ever...even if at times it doesn't feel that way:)